Your parents always told you to say “thank you” when someone did something nice for you. It’s the kind of thing that decent people do. I am willing to bet that your parents had no idea that expressions of gratitude make our brains and bodies healthier. Giving thanks transforms our mood, affects our emotions, our outlook, and our health.
According to Robert Emmons, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Davis, gratitude “heals, energizes, and transforms our lives.” It speaks to a deep-seated need we have to give and receive thanks. The need for appreciation connects us and creates a sense of community.
However, we often forget to stop and give thanks. We become so consumed with work and the busyness of life that we disconnect from others. We sometimes feel loneliness, sadness, anger, our mental health declines, and even our immune system suffers.
Emmons is the world’s leading expert on gratitude research and author of the book Gratitude Works. Emmons’ research focuses on more than just saying “thank you” or sending a formal card. His work examines the effects of gratitude on physical health, psychological well-being, and our social relationships. Emmons suggests establishing a gratitude ritual, an act of cultivating gratitude. That could be a morning meditation thankfulness routine, a bedtime roses of the day journal, or a gratitude journal.
Gratitude: A Social Emotion with Many Benefits
You’ll reap physical benefits such as a more robust immune system, fewer aches and pains, reduced blood pressure, increased exercise, and better quality of sleep. Experts believe that these physical benefits result from the tendency of grateful people to appreciate their health more than others do. Therefore they take better care of themselves. Gratitude can also calm down the nervous system.
You’ll feel happier. In a pioneering study, Emmons found that participants who wrote down one thing they were grateful for every day for three weeks reported being 25% happier for a full six months. Participants in another study reported substantially decreased symptoms of depression for up to a whole month after writing thank you letters to people who had done them a major service but had never been thanked fully.
You’ll improve your relationships. Gratitude allows us to see how we’ve been validated and supported by other people. Grateful people are more helpful, generous, and compassionate. They are more forgiving and feel less lonely. In a study of over 300 couples, people who felt more appreciated by their partner were more likely to appreciate their partner in return and remain in their relationship compared with couples who didn’t feel appreciated.
You’ll be the benefactor of a gift that keeps on giving. When you express gratitude, it triggers a feel-good response in the recipient’s brain. You express gratitude, the receiver feels grateful in return, and the cycle continues. Thanking the person who blessed you makes them feel good about their good deed. As a result, they’ll want to continue doing good deeds not only for you but for others as well.
Transformative Power
In his online article, Why Gratitude is Good, Emmons highlights four reasons why gratitude has the power to transform people. They are:
1. Gratitude allows us to celebrate others.
2. Gratitude can rewire our brains. It blocks negative emotions such as envy, resentment, and regret.
3. Grateful people are more resilient. Gratitude has a way of making us more resistant to stress. As a result, we are better at handling adversity and trauma.
4. Grateful people have a higher sense of self-worth. When someone shows concern for your well-being, it helps you to realize your value to others.
What can gratitude do for you? It can give you a new outlook on life, boost your mood, and strengthen your relationships.
Don’t Put Gratitude in a Box
Emmons encourages us to think outside the box when it comes to gratitude. He encourages us to be like Mother Teresa and think about gratitude for what we can give instead of what we can receive. When volunteering at my church food bank, I thank all of the families we serve. My actions are purely selfish because serving our families helps me spiritually and warms my heart. Yet, my efforts are one way I cultivate gratitude and do my part in paying it forward.
Consider this:
Every new day is another chance to give thanks. In the words of Maya Angelou, “This a wonderful day. I’ve never seen this one before.” “In” all things give thanks. Not “for” all things, but “in” all things. We give thanks for everything, no matter our circumstances!
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