Do you know someone who is always happy? You know! The overly optimistic person whose glass is always half full. Do you ever wonder if there is a downside to being too happy? Don’t worry. We’ve all thought about it at some point. There is something that is not quite right about being happy all the time. Scientific evidence suggests that consistent unhappiness is dysfunctional, but too much happiness can be dysfunctional as well.
Getting in touch with your emotions requires emotional intelligence. It requires you to be aware of how you are feeling. Knowing your true feelings will alert you to times when you think you might be doing well, but you’re not. If you’re overly optimistic, it will be harder for you to recognize those times when you feel negative emotions. According to Aristotle, there is a time and place for expressing negative emotions. It’s all about the degree to which you express the feelings, the context during which you experience the emotions, and whether you convey the emotions in a healthy or unhealthy way. According to research scientists Gruber and colleagues, the same could be said for the expression of positive emotions like happiness.
Positive Psychology: The Study of Happiness
Positive psychology is the study of human flourishing or optimal living. The study of subjective well-being falls under the umbrella of positive psychology. Martin Seligman, one of the pioneers of positive psychology, says that positive psychology was founded to steer people away from the darkness of the human condition and toward the light. The main purpose of positive psychology is to measure, understand, and then empower us to discover our strengths. This subfield of psychology focuses on good vibes and how happiness increases our psychological health.
Research on human flourishing has given us insight into predictors of happiness. But is happiness always good? Can someone be too happy? What do you think are the consequences of being too happy? Even Martin Seligman suggests that positive psychology is not just about living your best, happiest life, but also about living your most optimal, meaningful life. Although there is a tremendous amount of research linking happiness to positive outcomes, there is also evidence that rather than being adaptive, too much happiness can be maladaptive. Not only are there benefits to being happy then, but there are also costs.
The Perils of a Blissful State
Gruber and colleagues suggested four ways in which the pursuit and the experience of happiness might lead to negative outcomes. Let’s take a look!
1. Is there a wrong degree of happiness? From research in healthy populations, we learn that the common view is the happier we are, the better our psychological health. However, the counterargument to this school of thought is that excessive mental state levels, including happiness, are not good. Keep this in mind; all things in moderation, nothing to excess. In short, happiness is beneficial, but only to a certain extent. Just as having more money doesn’t make you happier, there is a point where more happiness does not necessarily equate to more positive outcomes. There’s a possibility that more happiness might even relate to negative consequences.
Among the clinical population, an abundance of positive to negative emotion is often seen in the form of intense, extended highs with an absence of negative emotion. The imbalance of positive to negative emotions indicates psychopathology, for example, mania. Lower levels of negative emotion are associated with disorders ranging from anxiety and depression to borderline personality disorder. Individuals who cannot exhibit negative emotional responses, especially when they’ve experienced something unpleasant, are more likely to engage in antisocial behavior.
2. Is there ever a wrong time for happiness? When is it not okay to express happiness? Is there ever a time when it’s not okay? When we are in a position of fight or flight, fighting to save our own life or the life of a loved one, for example, being happy, would not serve us well. In other words, positive emotions might be adaptive in non-threatening but not threatening situations.
3. Are there wrong ways of pursuing happiness? Should we strive for happiness at all costs? As humans, we live by the hedonic principle. We seek pleasure and try to avoid pain whenever necessary. In short, we seek pleasurable, positive things as opposed to negative things. Might there be wrong ways of seeking hedonic satisfaction?
The pursuit of happiness is a paradox. Philosophers and researchers have observed that the more people pursue happiness, the less likely they are to obtain it, so rather than be happy, they are disappointed. The paradox relates to our emotional circumstances and attributional context. Suppose we hear news of a friend’s passing. We are sad. We attribute our sadness to our friend’s death, and we would not be disappointed that we are not happy in this instance. In contrast, if we are in a situation that should make us happy and we’re not, we’re more likely to be disappointed. For instance, we are at our birthday dinner that our best friend has taken the time to put together, and we should be happy, but we’re not. We’re disappointed because we cannot explain why we’re not enjoying ourselves and we should be.
The idea is that the more you value happiness and want to be happy, the less likely you will be happy, especially in instances where you should be happy, but you can’t explain why you’re not. See! A paradox!
4. Are there wrong types of happiness? Some types of happiness have neither positive nor negative effects on our social processes. Still, they might be detrimental to us in the long run from a personal perspective.
One example given is that of hubristic pride. Hubristic pride is described as a positive state of exaggerated pride. Hubristic pride is linked to aggressiveness and antisocial behavior towards others. Such behaviors would affect your social relationships. In turn, being socially ostracized might negatively affect you.
The second example given was happiness that is out of alignment with your cultural values. Culturally, happiness typically differs along the lines of arousal, social engagement, and personal hedonic experience. Different cultures vary in how much they value low-arousal (e.g., contentment) versus high arousal (e.g., excitement) positive states. For example, one study found that Chinese and Chinese Americans value low arousal states more than high arousal states compared to European Americans. When there is misalignment between ideal and actual positive arousal levels, individuals might experience undesirable mental health outcomes.
There are also cultural differences in the value placed on social engagement and how we define happiness. Eastern cultures tend to value socially engaged emotions (e.g., friendliness), so socially engaged emotions tend to predict well-being more strongly than socially disengaged emotions. U.S. American culture tends to value socially disengaged emotions such as pride or anger. Also, North American culture tends to define happiness in the context of personal, pleasurable experiences and personal achievement in contrast to East Asian cultures, where happiness is defined in terms of social accord.
So What About the Dark Side of Happiness?
Extreme levels of any mental experience can manifest as undesirable, and this includes happiness. Happiness facilitates psychological well-being. However, too much of a good thing can be detrimental. To every season, there is a time and a reason, and emotions are no exception.
Consider this quote by English writer and Philosopher Aldous Huxley:
Happiness is not achieved by the conscious pursuit of happiness; it is generally the by-product of other activities.
My advice to you. Don’t bother focusing on things that are beyond your control. Instead, expend your efforts on engaging in activities that will bring you joy! Skip the pursuit of happiness and just be!
Be sure to listen to my podcast Psychologically Speaking, available wherever you stream your favorite podcasts.
A podcast for anyone interested in understanding how psychology applies to everyday life! More information on the Gruber et al., 2011 review is discussed in the episode titled “The Dark Side of Happiness. “
