“Am I hard enough?” “Am I rough enough?” “Am I rich enough?”—Rolling Stones Beast of Burden.

What’s the question at the root of these lyrics, “Am I good enough?”

What would your life be like if you had a supportive, hype person that was always in your corner? Imagine that this person only wanted the best for you, and they knew all of your goals and dreams. This person would keep you on track and help you be successful in creating the life you always wanted. I bet you’re thinking, “That’s great!, Sign me up!” “Where can I find this wonderful person?”

The reality is that this person is right there inside of you.  Finding your way to this person is as simple welcoming in your inner coach and quieting your inner critic, that saboteur that’s telling you you’re not good enough.

Changing your relationship with your inner critic is a long-term process that beings with acknowledging your inner critic and taking steps to free yourself from that voice that always has an opinion, especially when it comes to you. It’s essential to recognize how that inner voice speaks to you.  Is that inner voice consistently negative, or is it encouraging, kind, and supportive? Does it cause you to overthink and second guess yourself, or does it instill confidence in you?

Your inner critic is harsh, and it says things like:

• No one wants to listen to that annoying voice of yours!

• Why would anyone take you seriously?

• You are such an idiot! You never get anything right!

These types of comments cause you to get in your head so much so that you can’t move forward! The voice of your inner critic is loud, impatient, demeaning, and mean. It has good intentions like trying to protect you from failure. But it stunts your growth and blocks you from getting the things you deserve.

So, how can you overcome the negative talk and develop a positive, supportive relationship with your inner voice?

7 Ways to Quiet Your Inner Critic

1. Tune it out

One way is to tune out your inner critic. Tuning out your inner critic quiets your mind and takes away its power.  You can do this by doing something you love that makes you feel good, like meditating, dancing, singing, praying, practicing yoga.

2.    Give it a name

Naming your inner critic creates some space between it and you. By naming it, you get further away from it even though it’s always there. I call my inner critic “Donkey,” you know, like in the movie Shrek.  I affectionately refer to it as my ass to bear! And I often tell myself to, “Stop being an ass!” Doing this helps me to see how silly my inner critic can be.

3.    Listen carefully

Although you have an inner critic, you also have an inner coach. Your inner coach is the voice inside of you that keeps it real because, let’s face it, there times when there is some truth to our self-criticism. But your inner coach is more concerned with fostering an uplifting, positive, supportive relationship rather than a demeaning critical one.

4.    Speak those things that are not, as though they were

You can do this by reciting daily affirmations. The power of positive thinking is a science. There is evidence of the outcomes associated with positive thinking in the study of positive psychology. Your mind is powerful.  You have the strength to manifest positivity, success, and happiness in your life. Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that you should only think happy thoughts, but there is something to practicing mindfulness and bringing your negative thoughts into captivity.

5.    Sticks and stones may break your bones, and words can hurt you

Whoever said, sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me, wasn’t aware of the power of the tongue. Life and death are in the power of the tongue. Be mindful of the things you say to yourself. If you find yourself being overly critical of your behavior, reflect on what you’re saying and rephrase it. Also, practice removing the word “should” from your self-reflection vocabulary. Instead of saying what you “should” do, focus on what you “choose” or reflect on your alignment with the universe.  As long as you allow the universe to guide your being, you are aligned with your purpose.

6.    Accept that you’re not perfect and know your worth

You are not perfect. But you are enough. There are times when doubt creeps in, and you question your ability and even your self-worth. The key is to not give in to these negative thoughts. You are not perfect, and no one expects you to be. So you shouldn’t expect perfection from yourself. Let go of your past failures and don’t dwell on them. It is a well-known fact that it’s hard to let go because “our brains are like Velcro for the bad and Teflon for the good.” In other words, our brains are negatively biased. Take control and turn down the volume! Practice engaging in self-compassion and mindful thinking.

7.    Practice taking your own advice

If your best friend came to you and asked for your advice, how would you suggest they quiet their inner critic? You’d most likely be compassionate and uplifting towards your friend. You wouldn’t criticize or belittle them. You might say, “You’ve made mistakes, but you keep trying,” or “You might feel broken, but you’re not shattered beyond repair.” Keep these thoughts in mind the next time you’re beating yourself up and letting your inner critic keep you against the ropes. Be as compassionate towards yourself as you would towards a friend.

Something to think about

Remember that your inner critic is not all bad. It means well, but its delivery is not always the best. Some individuals believe you should embrace your inner critic and use it as a valuable asset. But keep in mind that you have to be taught the tools to turn your inner critic into a supportive life partner. And it takes time, patience, and practice to refine that skill.

I hope I’ve convinced you to quiet that little self-saboteur inside you by thinking positively and having compassion for yourself. Anytime you find yourself headed down the slippery slope of self-doubt, I want you to stop that voice in its tracks and put it in its place.  Take some time to listen carefully, use your words, and know your worth. Finally, practice taking the advice you would give a good friend.

Let me know what you think of these tips. What are some of the things you do to quiet your inner critic and shut it down?